Balancing the Law of Attraction with Personal Responsibility
The Law of Attraction can change your life by bringing into your world what you want the most. The LOA is not limited to one particular area of your life. So if you want better family relationships, you can have that.
If you want to improve your life financially, you can do that too. Maybe you need better health or a better job. Perhaps you want to improve a romantic situation. The Law of Attraction can change of all that for you – but only if you know how it’s meant to work.
What It Means to Have the Universe Working For You
If you’ve ever heard the saying “You get out of something what you put into it,” then you’ve just heard the meaning of the Law of Attraction described. What goes out into the Universe will always come back to you.
That means that if you wake up in the morning and you’re in a bad mood, you might act out of sorts and grumpy. You might head to work and discover that all of the commuters in the other cars are also grumpy.
What just happened is that the LOA was giving back to you exactly what you put out. When you’re in a bad mood, you often project those negative feelings out into the world.
And because the Law of Attraction will attract the same thing that you put out, how you behave affects what’s delivered to you. So if you want happiness and joy brought back to you, that’s what you must first radiate into the Universe.
You can’t radiate negativity and get back positives because the LOA works with whatever you give it to work with. If you bolster your courage and decide that you’re going to walk into a room with confidence, then you’re projecting that.
The LOA is going to bring that confidence back to you by the way that others will view you. They’ll see that you’re a confident person and you’ll get the reputation that you’re the one people can count on – which is very helpful in any job relations.
This can help you get promotions when you project an air of confidence. Your attitude about how you live your life makes all the difference in the world. When you wake up in the morning, how you feel will determine how that day goes as well as how your life goes.
For example, if you wake up in the morning feeling empowered like you can get done what needs to be done and you’re determined that success is going to be yours, then it will be.
But on the other hand, if you wake up in a funk and you feel down, like there’s no point in you even trying because you just can’t win, or you just can’t get ahead, then that’s exactly how your day will go.
That’s exactly how your life will be.
The reason for this is because the LOA is not a genie in a bottle. You don’t get to simply wish yourself the kind of life you’d like to have. And this is where so many people miss the truth behind the LOA.
They think they can command or just wish the life they want into existence. But that takes away from your part. You see, the LOA reacts to how you live your life. If you live in a state of kindness, you get back kind people in response.
If you live in a selfish way, always looking out for number one, never wanting to help other people, then that’s what you get back. You attract to yourself the kind of life that you’re living.
If you live joyfully, you get joy. If you give freely, you get from others freely. It’s just the way the LOA works. So to think that something doesn’t work when you’re sabotaging it with how you live will keep you trapped in that same cycle and you won’t ever make changes until you break free from that way of thinking.
Who Do You Blame for Your Current Situation?
The world is full of people who blame everyone under the sun for their lot in life. It’s always someone else’s fault. From the time they were a child, they never had a chance.
Their parents messed up. Or their teachers did. Or it was their boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife. If it hadn’t been for those people causing their life to get so messed up, then their current life would be just fine.
Blaming someone else has been going on since the beginning of time. That’s because it’s easier to blame someone else than it is to take a long, hard look in the mirror and accept responsibility for the way things are going.
The sad part is that until you do take responsibility, nothing is going to change. There are several areas in life where it’s common to push the blame for your own actions off onto someone else.
You’ll see this a lot in dating, romantic relationships, marriages – whenever there are emotions involved, the situation is ripe for the blame game. Whenever something goes wrong, someone inevitably blames the other person.
When you don’t get your emotional needs met in a relationship, it can turn into the blame game then as well. An example of the blame game in a relationship is when one partner doesn’t get the job he or she wanted.
So he or she blames the other person by saying they weren’t supportive when he or she wanted to go back to school and earn a degree that might have helped them land that position.
Instead of looking at reasons why they weren’t hired, they just look to cast blame off of themselves. Sometimes in a relationship, if there’s strain or tension, instead of looking at how you might have caused or added to that strain, you place all the blame solely on that person.
For example, a partner might say that his or her intimate life suffered neglect because the other person worked too many hours. Instead of looking for a solution to the problem such as “How can I work with that schedule to give us the time we both need?” they simply write it off as not their fault and move on.
This could be a reason why you’re having trouble in relationships if that is the case. You have to be willing to accept the responsibility for your part in whatever goes on between you and your partner.
You might have to deal with things like a partner disliking your friends or family. But look at what you might have done to cause that dislike. Did you allow your friends or family to treat your partner disrespectfully?
Talk about him or her behind their backs? Rather than looking to place blame, look for ways you can help change the negative in the relationship into a positive. Another area where people do a lot of blame placing is with their job.
They procrastinate and miss a deadline, then blame their colleagues or their boss. Or they don’t get the materials that they need to do a job in on time to meet a project deadline, so they blame the people who were supposed to get the materials to them.
Part of the blame game with a job also has to do with promotions. Whenever you don’t get a promotion that you thought you deserved, it can be easy to turn around and blame a colleague or a boss.
It can be easy to blame anything other than accepting the possibility that your own actions caused you trouble at work. Scheduling ahead can help keep you from missing deadlines.
Making sure that you have all of the materials gathered long before a project is due can help keep you on target. And looking at the reasons why someone else got promoted rather than you can help you avoid the blame game at work.
When we get disappointed because we don’t get a hope or expectation met, it can be too easy to look outwardly rather than inwardly. Plus, sometimes things happen just because that’s the way it’s supposed to be and it’s not your time yet.
Cleaning the house is another avenue where the blame game exists. The house doesn’t get clean because someone else makes a mess. Or it gets messy because the dog ran through the house with muddy paws right after you cleaned the carpet.
You can’t vacuum because someone else sucked something up into it, burned out the belt and it hasn’t been fixed yet. You’ve had too much to do at work. Your kids have had too many outside activities.
There was a great movie on last night and you got caught up in watching that instead of cleaning like the house needed it. If only someone hadn’t left the television on.
Or if only your family member or friend hadn’t called you on the phone wanting to talk, you would have gotten the house clean. Maybe you don’t have the equipment that you need because your vacuum cleaner broke and it’s not fixed yet.
Or you don’t have any cleaning solution because the store was all sold out of the kind that you use. The house is messy because it’s not all your fault. You just can’t keep up.
While this could all be true, it’s still part of the blame game. We all do exactly what we want to do. We will make the time for what we enjoy or what we must do in order to survive.
What falls low on our priority list is easier to blame others for. Maybe you can’t ever find the time to relax because you’re too busy working or taking care of the house.
Or perhaps you have too many family responsibilities. You’re running children to and from activities or taking care of elderly parents. You might be having health problems or financial problems and you don’t ever feel that it’s your fault.
It’s always someone else’s fault that you find yourself in the position that you’re in. If you want the LOA to work for you, then you have to stop pointing fingers. If your relationships aren’t working, don’t point at your partner or your family members or your friends.
When your job isn’t going well, don’t look to your colleagues, suppliers or boss to blame. The times the house is a wreck, your health is bad and your finances are a mess, take a hard look at how you’re contributing to letting these issues be a part of your life.
While the Law of Attraction does help to attract good things to your life, you have to take personal responsibility for the things that are off-kilter right now. For the relationships, figure out what it is that you’re doing wrong.
Stop blaming someone else if you’re miserable in a relationship. No one can make you unhappy without your permission. No one else has the power to upset you or as many people seem to think to “ruin” your life.
That’s power you give them by not accepting personal responsibility. What you have to do with relationships is to figure out what’s going wrong. What’s upsetting you?
Next, you look for the solution. If there is no solution that you can see, you can either reach out to a third party for advice or help or put the brakes on that relationship.
At work, plan ahead so that the blame game stops. Put the responsibility for getting your work done squarely on your shoulders and have a backup plan for when someone else’s issue can affect your work.
If you have trouble keeping your home neat and organized, schedule a time to clean it and don’t let anything but an emergency distract you from that time. Or, you can hire a cleaning service.
Even if you hire someone, you’re still taking responsibility and that’s a good thing. Find time to relax by adding that to your schedule the same way that you would schedule a doctor or dentist appointment.
You’re making an appointment with yourself. Take that time to go to the movies, go for a walk, or sit quietly and listen to your favorite music, but make the time to relax because it helps reduce stress.
Relaxed people also find it easier to attract relaxation to their lives. If your health is suffering and it’s because of some lifestyle habits you have that aren’t conducive toward good health, then quit them.
Make small changes to your diet, exercise, and get involved in activities that promote good health. Problems with finances can cause us to be more negative than positive.
If you’re struggling on this end, there’s one of two ways to fix it. You must either earn more or spend less. If you’re tapped out because you’ve lived above your means for too long, then you need to stop spending, take on a part time job along with the one you have and work to pay off your bills.
While the LOA will attract financial wealth to you, it doesn’t just work because you want it to. It works because you’re the driving force behind it. Hard work pays off by attracting more opportunities to earn the money you need to make.
Change Your Actions to Align with Personal Responsibility
Realizing that you’ve been placing blame is a step in the right direction because this realization can be a doorway to changing your actions. Every area of your life is subject to change once you decide that you’re to take responsibility for what’s been going on.
It’s easy to place blame and people do it because they think it absolves them in having a hand in what happened. But what this does is steal your power and create a mentality within your mind that you’re just being carried downstream, along for the ride, helpless to swim against the current and set yourself free.
For every single scenario in life that causes you problems or stress, there is an answer – and that answer lies within yourself. At work, you might have to deal with a colleague that just loves to talk.
They’re always hanging out at your cubicle or in your office chatting ninety miles an hour about stuff they’ve seen, heard, what they’ve bought and they’re riding that gossip train until it’s run dry.
Because we’re taught to be polite, most of us do spend the time we don’t have listening to stuff we shouldn’t listen to. You don’t need to put the blame on that coworker who just won’t be quiet and go away.
The LOA won’t work for you by waving a fairy wand to make sure all of your work gets completed. If you’re wondering how you can handle a situation like a chatty coworker so that it doesn’t fall back on you and you fall back on blaming them, you handle it by taking control.
You don’t let them drive your time. You drive it. And it’s not that difficult. You can say something as simple as, “I’d love to sit and listen, but I don’t have time now, so let me let you go and catch you later.”
Your coworker will get the hint and will leave. If your coworker doesn’t get that hint, you just say, “I don’t have time to talk, so I’ve got to start working” and then you do just that.
When something goes on in your life that makes you feel the need to place blame, you should immediately stop and reassess what’s going on. Look to see if it really is someone else’s fault as to why something happened.
Now, sometimes it is, but the majority of the time, it’s not. For example, if you have trouble keeping your home neat and clean, is it really your partner’s fault because he or she isn’t a neat person?
Remember that you can’t change the way that someone else acts and it’s really not your responsibility anyway to change them. That doesn’t mean you have to put up with certain issues like someone not picking up after themselves.
If finances are an issue, you can take responsibility by taking a financial course and learning all that you can about how to manage your money. When health problems crop up, this is an area that you should address right away.
Many people blame their health problems on lack of time to exercise, not enough money to afford to eat healthy, a job that’s too stressful and so on. If you make excuses, it won’t change anything.
You can take control of your health by making time to exercise. Even if all you do is walk outside your office while eating your lunch as you walk because that’s all the time you have, it’ll still help your health.
Eating healthy, even if you think you can’t afford it is still an option. A lot of people who say they can’t eat healthy don’t plan ahead. You can make healthy meals in advance and freeze them for the times when reaching for junk food is too tempting.
Relationships are a big area where taking personal responsibility is a must. If you’re someone that always seems to end up getting dumped by the person you care you about, there is a way that you can change that so you end up in relationships that are here for the long run.
With relationships, the reason that most men and women end up in a cycle of getting dumped or having to dump a bad relationship is because they make the same choices.
They follow up those choices by making the same mistakes in the relationship. Making bad decisions (such as in your choice of a partner) can lead you to being involved with someone who has issues.
These issues can vary. They can be commitment issues or whatever. But the bottom line is you picked that person because you were drawn to them and then it all starts all over again on the way to getting dumped.
Check to see if you’re doing any of the following things: you show jealousy when your partner talks too long or laughs with someone else. At the heart of jealousy is not usually a fault with your partner.
It’s about you and how that deep down, maybe you don’t really trust them. If you have trust issues because you’ve been burned in the past by someone you cared about, then you have to own that.
You have to take responsibility and work out those trust issues before you go into another relationship or you’re just going to end up getting dumped or dumping that person.
Happiness in a relationship will always seem to elude you because you’re putting the weight of having to make you happy on someone else’s shoulders. It’s not his or her responsibility to make you happy.
It’s yours and no one else is ever going to be able to fill that for you. You might even be playing the blame game with your relationships. You’re always at each other’s throats.
Every little thing becomes a big argument until one of you walks out the door. So you blame that person for leaving you or you blame that person for pushing you out the door.
A relationship, at the heart of it, is a choice. You choose to stay or you choose to leave. No one can force you to do either, so own your actions if you go that route. Look at yourself and see if you’ve allowed yourself to create a relationship cycle.
Do you always go for high drama people? Are you drawn to needy, clingy partners? You want to make sure that you’re not the reason that none of your relationships are lasting.
It can be difficult to face the truth that you can be the problem in a relationship, but if you want to fix the cycle of getting dumped or doing the dumping, then you have to examine the part that you’re playing in this.
Blame Isn’t the Only Detriment to Your Successful Life
Blaming others when things go on in your life prevents you from taking ownership of what you should take ownership for. Plenty of people do this, but it can be changed and you can own your actions.
On the other hand of the blame game is pushing off the power of praise. A lot of people do this and for good reason. It’s because we’re taught from childhood to be humble.
We’re taught to look out for others. But what you might not have learned is that there is a fine line between being humble and not accepting what is rightfully yours that you deserve to accept.
This area is usually found in the area of praise. An example of this is a stranger jumping off an icy bridge into a rushing river to save the life of someone he doesn’t know.
Later, when he’s interviewed, he downplays that praise from the television reporter, from the bystanders and from the public. Usually, the person says, “I only did what anyone would have done.”
No, he didn’t do what anyone would have done – which is why there were bystanders. The man who put his life at risk to save the life of someone else deserved to be praised for his actions.
There was no guarantee that his own life would be saved. But because we’re taught to be humble, people pass off praise like they don’t deserve it. Just like you must own the blame for what goes on in your life, you must also own the praise.
When someone says, “Oh, you look great,” the standard answer is usually, “This old thing?” or “No, I don’t. I look old/fat/worn out.” We don’t accept the praise even though the other person is being genuine.
We do this in the area of work, too. When the boss stands up and publicly comments to the office staff that a certain worker really made the project pull together, what usually happens is the worker passes the praise off.
He might say something like, “No, really, it was a team effort.” With so much emphasis on being humble and taking care not to be proud, we’ve gone to the extreme and started seeing a compliment as a bad thing.
We’re afraid that if we accept it, we might get a big head and start to have ego problems. Here’s something to remember. The people who worry about being too proud or having ego problems aren’t usually the ones that do.
It’s the people that never wonder about being too proud or egotistical who are. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your life, and of who you are.
Too many people spend far too much time with internal dialogue that downplays their achievements. For example, if you finish a tough project at work, you might be proud of yourself only to have that internal voice say, “Anyone could have done that.”
No, anyone could not have done that. You have to retrain yourself to not only learn how to take the praise that belongs to you, but to learn how to stop allowing yourself to give it away by thinking you don’t deserve the praise.
The downside to not accepting praise is that you begin to believe that you don’t deserve it. You humble yourself to the point that what you’re putting out into the Universe becomes quite negative.
Things like, “I don’t deserve this” or “I can’t believe I faked my way through this” become your truth. What happens then is that you’re sending out negative energy and that’s exactly what’s going to come back to you.
So when you are praised, accept it and know that you deserved it. Don’t be afraid to be proud of yourself, either.
Things You Can’t Change – and the One Thing You Can
Some things in life are set in stone. You can talk, you can flail about and you can beat your head against what you want changed and it just isn’t going to give. That’s because there are things within your circle of control and things outside your circle of control.
For example, there’s a huge project coming up at work. Your boss will decide who to give it to. The final decision will be his. You can talk, you can showcase your talents and you can even come right out and ask him for it.
But if his mind is made up and the choice is not you, you’re not going to change his mind. The reason for that is because you don’t have the power to control what other people think, say and do.
It would be nice if you could, but it’s not going to happen. So what you want to be careful with is that you don’t waste your time fretting over and trying to change things that are outside of your circle.
This is the fastest way to build stress and pile up negative thoughts and emotions. The boyfriend or girlfriend you have who seems a little self-centered? You’re not going to change that person.
You can leave out a stack of self-help books for them to read. You can suggest videos, suggest they plan romantic gestures, and even drop bold hints. But it’s like they have no eyes to see and no ears to hear.
A lot of spouses do this. They drop hints and they spend years trying to change the other person and decades pass without it ever happening. You can’t change other people.
You can only accept them for who they are and if you can’t do that, then you have to distance yourself from them. This is a big thing in families because everyone has “that” relative who’s a pain to be around.
No amount of arguing or rehashing the same stuff every holiday is ever going to fix that person. So if you think someone else is the issue, you’re going to have to learn to change your reaction to them – because they’re not going to change.
And if they do, consider it a gift from the Universe – but the odds are a million to one that they’ll change. We make choices in life and not everyone is onboard with those decisions we make.
Some people don’t say a word about it, while others are quite vocal. This is especially true about parents. You might have heard the spiel. It goes something like this:
“Why don’t you get a real job? Why would you date him/her? You shouldn’t marry him/her. You should buy that car. You shouldn’t buy that car. You should rent. You should buy a house. You need to have children. You don’t need to have children. You should diet. You’re too skinny! Eat something.”
The list could go on because every one of us has parents who aren’t happy with every decision we make. You can work yourself into a frenzy trying to please your parents.
Or your spouse. Or your partner. Or your children. Or your boss. Or your colleagues. Or, you can live your life the way that you feel it should be lived. Without apologies.
You can make changes according to the way that you feel those changes should be made. You should never change something or make a decision just because someone else feels this is the way you should go with your life.
If it’s not your decision, you’re not doing it for you and you’re not going to be happy in the long run. Since you can’t control other people and how the react to your life, there’s only one thing you can concentrate on.
You can only control your actions. You can control your actions with your own life. You can control your actions that impact your job, your home, your relationships.
You can also only control your own thoughts. You can’t control what someone else thinks about you or your actions. A lot of people waste precious time worrying about what someone else thinks.
It’s not their life. You only have one life and it’s a gift for you to enjoy, not them. You can also only control your reaction to someone else’s actions. You can’t help if someone is a jerk.
That’s their issue. But you can control your reaction. For example, if someone is having a high drama moment and they’re yelling and hopping around with a full steam of anger powering them, you don’t have to get defensive.
You don’t have to start snarling back at them. You can walk away because you’re the one in control of your own actions.
The Law of Attraction is an incredible tool that can help you morph into the person you want to be, living the kind of life you want to live. But you have to understand your part in the mystical equation and accept personal responsibility for how you make your dreams come true.
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