How Anger Affects Others
Ever had one of those moments when your boss gave you a piece of his or mind, and you took it out on your kids, friends or even a stranger?
It happens to the best of us.
Yes, all of us.
Anger is, indeed, a common experience and this instance has happened at one time or the other in each and every one of our lives.
While the emotion itself is considered to be an instinctive response to threats, not being able to control its overpowering energy (which is usually directed towards others) is when anger becomes a real problem.
How you express anger affects not only you from a physical and emotional point-of-view but it also affects the people around you very deeply. Make no mistake about that, and it is why people say that controlling anger is what you must focus on if you are one with a ‘short fuse’.
But in order to understand why it’s important to control anger, one must understand how it affects other people emotionally. And for that, we have to revisit the Fight of Flight response theory proposed by Walter Bradford Cannon.
Simply put, according to his theory, it is fear caused by a threat that leads to anger and it is no different when you threaten others with your anger. Fear causes people to either flee or fight and it’s no surprise that people who are bad-tempered experience great difficulty with both professional and personal relationships.
Most people who get into a fit of rage before you can say, “Jack Rabbit” find themselves all alone. It’s unfortunate yet it’s true because no one likes to be threatened, right?
Threats can be of both the physical, verbal and non-verbal type, of which the first of the lot is probably the most threatening of all. Yet the most unfortunate part of it all, is once you go through the motions, you’ll end being angry with yourself for saying or doing what you just said or did.
So often, victims of abuse reveal how an authority figure with an uncontrollable temper has affected them negatively for life – and this extends not only to children but also to romantic, familial or even platonic relationships.
While it’s unfortunate that some of these people who have fits of anger believe that they can get what they want by being aggressive, nothing can be further from the truth. Nothing works as well as negotiating for a win-win result or acting as mature adults do rather than children who throw tantrums or bully others.
So, the next time, you plan to get into a fit of rage, remember that you’ll stand to regret your words, but most of all it will have a negative impact on the people who matter to you the most.